i never even saw yr face. i never even heard yr voice. but in those red fishnets and that thrift store dress i saw so many rainy summer mornings &sticky flesh &needles &cigarette scars. cherry colas in the shade of torn down libraries. this isn't what it was, it isn't what it will ever be. listening to the radio static while i cut my arms into bite-sized pieces and feed them to you for dinner. floor like autumn leave without the orange. just browns &reds that keep my feet forever stuck to the floor.

you still give me the shivers. because you never tried.

and the question to the answers that never were, never were. it was never when will i see you next, it was never can i taste you. it was always. forever's been wasted in the second that i held yr hair back when you vomited, forever was when my legs tingled and you kissed my hand. tattoos of black lipstick forever imprinted, forever marking me.

silences whistles through fading, dyed black hair.

i'm yours, angel. just come and claim me.